Here is a transcription of a text exchange between your fearless authors to demonstrate how our process works, in the wild. And also to demonstrate why most of our gay conspiracy breakthroughs and ideas never make it to text post form: a lot of polishing is required, and we are both lazy and more prone to just jump to the next Great Bandom Mystery instead.
Anyway, if this decidedly Socratic style works for you and you’d like more blurbs like this, let us know!
Wednesday, 8:14 AM
K: Decemberunderground is such a BDSM album, do you think it is a sexual reinvention post-breakup, a metaphor, or was Javey sex less vanilla than looking at Jade makes you think?
S: I think it’s a metaphor with roots in reality
K: Can’t even imagine a Javey forehead touch, there is no tenderness there and maybe never was
K: Grimmer than a ghost ship, those two
S: No, remember the coffeeshop interview??
S: Crinkle-eyed smiles?
S: It does kind of seem like for all that they loved each other they were never really happy
S: Even their private moments poisoned by Jade’s fear
S: I bet he’d go and close the curtains before he’d so much as kiss Davey
K: I believe that they are each other’s true love but also that they never could have been happy in this universe, no matter how they played it
S: Yeah
S: And I mean, I feel like Davey probably has unrealistic relationship expectations. He wouldn’t consider grocery store arguments over milk brands true love. I don’t think he wants to be happy or content or comfortable. He wants to burn, he wants everything to be beautiful and meaningful
K: Even with the crinkly smiles, the way Jade looks at Davey: wonderstruck and humbled and worshipful with the edge of fear that permeates all truly aweful relationships, be it between man and god or the two of them. There isn’t happiness there, in such a gratingly unequal paradigm. If it hadn’t been his cowardice there would have been other ways, I think, that Jade held himself unworthy. There is something frightened and damaged at his heart. He does not believe in his own happiness, and Davey does not believe in his own mortality they would have to be fundamentally different to live happily ever after
K: You’re totally right: Davey has a deep, core belief that true things hurt
S: He probably judges Jade for his grocery-store relationship, salt in the wound of his betrayal
S: And he probably doesn’t understand how Jade could choose something mortal and stupid over him, like how is that even love
S: “True things hurt” is probably the core of Davey’s BDSM philosophy
K: YUP WOW IT IS
K: Metaphor cracked
K: Another case closed by the bandom sleuths
10 minutes pass
K: So do you think the song Save Rock and Roll is about Pete’s reasons he and Patrick can never be together?
K: I am a monster today, sorry
S: YOU ARE, GOD
Tonight, In the Whispers 